Technology and social media has connected people across the globe and even influenced global governments. For romantic partner’s, technology can be a double-edged sword, meaning there are both positive and negative aspects to the health of a relationship.
Intimacy is often a scary endeavor for many people. A fear of intimacy is not a fear of being close to someone, but rather, a fear of vulnerability and exposure.
I believe we often protect ourselves by placing boundaries so rigid that the ability to connect with another person is stunted.
The desire to connect with other people is a central part of being human. However, knowing how to develop intimacy and having the desire to do so are two different things. Understanding the root reason people struggle with intimacy, can help us understand the difficulties one has in developing intimacy.
Sympathy and empathy are similar but not the same. Both are noble attributes and keys to our moral compass. We strive to care for other people but without sympathy and empathy we cannot began to care for others. It is a human quality that is missing in psychopaths. Sympathy and empathy do not mean the same thing and how they differ can lead many to emotional distress, couples conflict, or make some feel not cared for or loved.
The spin of the Ashley Madison Leak has been that leakers are bad, but the victims are bad too, because they are cheating on their spouses. When we out people who do not want to be outed it can be devastating. As a result, the Ashley Madison leak not only placed the people on their site and their partners at risk to have their identity stolen, but the leak put all those people’s mental health, marriage, and even their life in jeopardy.
Intimacy is a word we use all the time in regard to being close to our partner(s), but what does it mean and how is true intimacy achieved? Intimacy means a close, familiar loving relationship along with a detailed deep understanding about people, places, or things. A great definition, but how is true intimacy achieved? Why are so many people scared and incapable of intimacy?
You must love yourself first
To achieve intimacy begins with just how intimate we are with ourselves. We must know and accept who we are before we can give that space to another.
A common complaint I get from many clients is that their partner is “checked out” during sex.
People describe themselves as forcing themselves on their partner or the sex feels bad and mechanical. They describe their partner as uninterested in them or sex in general. This creates so much tension since both sides feel frustrated and angry. The partner who feels their partner is checked out feels rejected and undesired. The partner who is checked out tends to feel forced, pressured, and anxious about disappointing their partner. To fix this problem we must first identify the problem.
The reason to me is simple: you are not connecting on more then a genital level.
A person in a monogamous relationship places every ounce of trust into their partner and infidelity is a complete violation of that sacred trust.
After the infidelity has occurred it can feel like the world has ended and there is no way back. Depending on the relationship, you can move forward and restore the lost trust to form a new, stronger relationship. Here is how to start.
One of the biggest relationship killers is infertility.
Fertility issues can poison a relationship in two major ways. First, the poison starts in the bedroom with sex becoming all about making babies and, therefore, losing the intimacy, passion, connection, pleasure, relaxation, and satisfaction great sex brings. The poison bleeds out of the bedroom into the rest of the relationship causing even the best couples to drift apart.