Few of us have a crystal ball. But, thanks to online dating profiles, you can find out about a person’s tastes, hobbies, political affiliations and religious leanings before you even have a conversation.
In some instances, you can also gauge someone’s relationship potential – if they are looking for uncomplicated companionship, a simple tryst or long-term commitment.
Despite this wealth of information, there is plenty to learn about your potential partner. So, how do you secure all the answers you need without overtly playing 20 questions, seeming paranoid – or worse, appearing desperate?
Here’s what qualifies as fair game in that first exploratory conversation …and what you should tuck away for another time.
Prepare to Cover Some Ground, Not All of It
Acceptable topics include anything that helps you uncover shared:
- Values
- Goals
- Connections
- Interests
Here are some open-ended questions to steer the conversation in the right direction:
- Introduce three of your favorite activities like dancing, wine-tasting and travel and ask your date how they feel about them.
- What do you do when there’s nothing to do?
- What are you working towards right now? What are your long-term aspirations?
The key here is to find commonality in a non-confrontational way. If you have a good chemistry PLUS shared goals, values and at least a few interests, you have relationship potential.
The Bottom Line on First Dates
There is nothing wrong with a partner that has different hobbies than you do. In fact, your differences and unique qualities might be what attracts you to a partner. But no matter how interesting someone is, you must share common values for relationship success.
Uncovering long-term compatibility takes time but following these recommendations to guide first-date conversation will help you secure the insights you need to determine whether you should proceed.
For more advice on how to determine someone’s relationship potential, contact us today.